Thursday, January 24, 2008

Mind Over Matter Works! maybe... a little too much?

Do you know why you're sad?
Because you're thinking about things that make you sad.
Try not to think about the things that make you sad.
Think of the positive side of things.
Or don't think at all.
Be in the moment!

Probably, the reason why I'm not sad for sometime is because I don't think about things. I just do what I need to do, my errands, my things-to-do, and read the things I make myself read! Now, it's finished, and the four tests was done for today, and there's nothing really to do for tomorrow.

Good thing that my classmate had a gathering, and our subsec was invited! Atleast that kept me from being bored... and thinking... or feeling sorry for myself. So actually, I'm not really sad haha But... Got a text from someone saying that the person's sad and feeling lonely. I thought to myself... if I wasn't with my subsec... what would I be doing? Would I also feel sad because I don't have things to do and I have free time to think? No, I still have some downloads to watch hehe

However, kahit kasama ang subsec, shucks! Sad to say, pero medyo sad din ang topic ng streams of chismis namin! Great... So para my ma-offer na words of wisdom, I have to un-block all those thoughts, put myself in that sorry position... and though to myself how I hate that position! and I hate remembering! While talking and opening up, meron na naman akong natutunang bago sa sarili ko. Grabe, kahit same iyong situation, I still learned something new. Hay... In the midst of remembering and feeling sad, I felt myself blocking unconsciously so I won't feel too sad to breakdown.

Yesterday, I was cleaning my files and came across a YM conversation with a friend. The conversation took place during those sad confusing times. I tried to read it all, tried to ease myself and see how I'm feeling... but no. I didn't finish the whole set... Maybe because I have lots of stuff to do for the next day. (Whew! Sigh of relief at may distractions ako why I really didn't really read the whole thing!) Or maybe something else? Well, I don't want to know about the something else, I guess... As I said, blocking unconsciously and letting myself be blocked.

The question is... how long do I keep blocking myself from me?

Obviously, I won't go through those old files for now because even though there's really nothing to do for tomorrow, I still have my downloads to watch :) so no need to feel sad! haha at least not for tonight...

4 comments:

  1. Do you really have to look at the files right now? You're probably blocking yourself because you're not ready yet... Anyhow, if you need help, I'm just a ym/text/shout(if we're in school.. i don't think this will work if you're in Quezon and I'm in Binan) away.

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  2. hindi nmn, nag-iisip lang ako ng mga files to delete at naglilinis ako ng hard drive. saka i probably didn't looked at them because i have other things to do. may post it na nga ako ng mga things to do dito sa computer ko eh... in addition to the usual med stuff, and sa post-it din sa may study table ko for my things-to-do-sa-dorm! daming ginagawa!

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  3. thanks for the hug! i think i may have needed that earlier... while cramming for surg (may mga nagtuliro sa amin at hindi tuloy ako nakaaral! bwisit na depressants iyon... and iyong taong nagsimula! haha sana pumasa...)
    miss you na talaga! see you on sat! =P

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